By Damilola Ogunnowo

When was the last time you connected with the authentic version of someone rather than the carefully curated image they present online?

In today’s digital age, we spend countless hours consuming content across various social media platforms. We scroll through endless streams of information, opinions, videos, and images, often without realizing how deeply they influence our thoughts, behaviours, and expectations. There is a popular saying: “What you see is what you become.” While this may not always be true, repeated exposure to certain ideas and narratives can gradually shape our perceptions of ourselves, others, and the world around us.

One of the most significant effects of social media is the way it can create unrealistic standards and expectations. Content that gains the most visibility is not always the most informative or truthful. Much of it is designed to attract attention, provoke strong emotions, or generate engagement through clickbait and outrage. While many users understand that such content is often exaggerated, constant exposure can subtly influence personal preferences and beliefs. For example, discussions surrounding dating and relationships frequently promote highly specific standards for what makes an ideal partner. Popular online narratives may encourage unrealistic expectations based on physical appearance, income, social status, or lifestyle. While everyone is entitled to personal preferences, problems arise when these preferences become rigid standards that fuel insecurity, comparison, and division.

This phenomenon affects both men and women. Unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy among those who do not fit certain social media ideals. In response, opposing narratives often emerge, sometimes encouraging body shaming, toxic behaviour, misogyny, or misandry. Instead of fostering understanding and connection, these conversations can deepen resentment and reinforce stereotypes.
Perhaps the greatest illusion social media creates is the perception of perfection. Relationships, friendships, careers, and lifestyles are often presented as flawless and effortless. Yet behind every carefully edited photograph and curated post lies a reality that is far more complex.

No relationship is perfect. Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, family bond, or professional partnership, every meaningful connection involves challenges, misunderstandings, growth, and compromise. Social media rarely shows these realities because imperfection is less likely to attract attention than an idealized image.
When individuals constantly compare their lives to the highlight reels of others, they may begin to feel dissatisfied with their own experiences. The danger lies not in using social media itself, but in allowing online portrayals to become the standard by which real-life relationships and achievements are measured.

Authenticity requires accepting that life is imperfect. Growth comes through experience, mistakes, setbacks, and lessons learned. No amount of online advice can replace the wisdom gained through genuine human interaction and personal reflection.
Making mistakes does not mean you are failing; it means you are learning. Every meaningful relationship and every worthwhile achievement involves moments of uncertainty and vulnerability. Rather than attempting to model our lives after idealized online narratives, we should focus on building authentic connections based on honesty, mutual respect, and shared experiences.

Social media can be a valuable tool for communication, education, and community building. However, it should complement real-life relationships, not replace them. Genuine connection is found not in perfectly filtered images or viral opinions, but in authentic conversations, shared experiences, and the courage to be ourselves.
In a world increasingly shaped by digital impressions, perhaps the greatest act of self-preservation is choosing authenticity over appearance and truth over illusion. After all, it is better to face reality honestly than to find comfort in a carefully constructed lie.

_Damilola Ogunnowo is a public commentator, climate change advocate, and a law undergraduate at a Nigerian Tertiary institution. He can be reached at contact@damilolaogunnowo.com_