You are Either Married or Single, no Midway, Preaches Okonkwo

A recent message by famous relationship teacher, Kingsley Okonkwo has sparked conversation across social media, renowned teacher addressed a common misconception among dating and engaged couples: the blurred line between commitment and covenant.

With his trademark clarity, he stated, “Until you are married, you are still single.”
Pastor Kingsley’s statement, while seemingly straightforward, touches on a deeper issue in today’s relationship culture the premature assumption of marital roles without the foundation of an actual marriage.

At its core, the statement emphasizes the distinction between being in a relationship and being legally or spiritually bound in marriage. Many couples, according to Pastor Kingsley, start acting like they are married simply because they’re dating or engaged. They take on responsibilities, make sacrifices, and even begin to live together all without the covenant that marriage provides.

He argues that such behavior often leads to unnecessary heartbreak, confusion, and soul ties. “Dating is not a guarantee of marriage,” he said, “and engagement is not a wedding. If you’re not married, you’re still single in the eyes of the law, in the eyes of God, and even practically.”

This teaching comes as a caution to those who invest heavily in relationships without clarity or commitment.

Pastor Kingsley urges people to maintain healthy boundaries and avoid giving “marital benefits” to a boyfriend or girlfriend. This includes financial dependence, physical intimacy, or the emotional responsibilities reserved for a spouse.

Pastor Kingsley’s message also calls for intentionality in dating. He encourages singles to approach relationships with purpose, clarity, and accountability. Rather than “playing house,” he advises couples to focus on building trust, understanding each other’s values, and preparing for a godly marriage.

The statement has been met with mixed reactions. Supporters praise the message as timely and necessary, especially in a culture where relationship roles are increasingly fluid. Others argue that relationships naturally evolve and that such views may come off as rigid. Nonetheless, the conversation it sparked reflects a growing desire among many young people to do relationships right.

Whether one agrees or not, Pastor Kingsley’s message serves as a powerful reminder: commitment is not just about feelings or time spent together it’s about covenant. Until vows are exchanged and a marriage is established, a relationship, no matter how serious, remains what it is a relationship, not a marriage.